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CW// separation; anxiety; mother/daughter dynamic; trust boundaries

Hello creative Mandala Magicians,

My name is Frauke, meaning “little Woman.”

Standing not so little at 178 cm or 5’10”, I was born in 1970 in northern Germany, but didn’t stay there very long.

For the first few years I was raised by my Grandparents.  Until my sibling was born and then the Family reunited and moved South.

At some point my parents decided to go on a mission trip for 5 years to Papua New Guinea, I was merely 7 years old when I was dropped off at a boarding school with just a few words of English that I had learned on the way. I only saw my parents twice a year, when it was time to fly “home” into the jungle.

Boarding School is where I did my growing up and learned how to be independent and how I can’t depend on anyone else other than myself. Which would be a big roadblock for the majority of my life and which I am unlearning through Mandala Magic practice, learning to accept help and speak up when things get overwhelming.

Once back in Germany and it was time for me to decide on a career, I went with Social Pedagogy.

I just love working with Teenagers and I could incorporate my love for creating which was a big plus for me.

I have always created from a young age. It has been my lifeline all through life.

I now live with my own family in South Carolina, USA,  and still enjoy creating in many different forms, alone or with my family or friends.  Anything from Gardening to knitting, I love trying new things as well. 

About 3 years ago, I was “lost”.

What are my dreams for life now that it was so rapidly changing? Kids leaving the house, body changes etc. 

I fell into a hole. I found creative help online, one on one sessions, through Zoom, creating together and working through my anxiety. 

After Covid and the year of learning I wanted more, I wasn’t done with unravelling myself and rebuilding. I liked the new glimpse that I saw of myself.

So one day I was Googling Mandalas. I have always been fascinated with kaleidoscopes and was trying to find ideas on how to put these on paper.

That is how I stumbled over Julie’s page and joined one of her free online classes. I was hooked. So I was happy to hear that there was an Alignment through the 8-fold year class. Guess what, I signed up and never looked back.

I loved how she gave us a prompt, and showed us her work step by step, but encouraged us to find our own way to express what it meant for us, or what the prompt brought up. 

But also all the extra information she shared per text or music was such an enrichment to my life.

For the longest time, I couldn’t write in a journal, I couldn’t trust nobody else would read it.

My mom was leaving notes and corrections of how events happened, the way she thought when I was a teenager. That broke my trust and I couldn’t write anymore.

For the first few mandalas I would concentrate on what is happening in the container, the circle, and go into so much detail.

But at the same time, I was blocked from finding my own “symbol language”.  I wasn’t able to let go and understand that these symbols would only have a certain special meaning to me. I was putting too much weight on what other people might think or read into it.  Hence I fell back into the not trusting, that stemmed from my teenage time. 

Now after doing Mandalas for a while it has gotten easier.

For me a Mandala is a container, where I can drop off what is on my mind, what has been bothering me or just something I want to express and have a keepsake of it, that only I will have the key to.

Sometimes the creations spill over outside the circle and that for me is just like in life, when there is too much excitement, it can’t be contained, it has to spill over. 

I am still working on journaling on the opposite side and then finding a way to cover it up. I took the first little steps and I am starting to be able to let go and be put on the page because I know I can cover it up and nobody will be able to read it. 

I start trusting the process, I can leave my mark, my symbols and don’t worry about leaving my journal open.

At the moment I love working with either watercolor or gouache because I don’t have so much control of the outcome.

Something I have been battling for the last decade is the fear of losing control.  Which manifested in a pretty hefty anxiety for me.

Learning how I don’t need to have control and that I need to respond and not react to life, supported by the Mandala prompts and working within the container helped tremendously.

So for me, watercolor is the medium I like working with right now. That doesn’t mean that I won’t change or I will not try other mediums. Just right now this feels safe. 

This spring I did hit a wall though, I lost all mojo of creating.

At the same time, there were a lot of things happening in my family life that threw me out of my routine.

I am slowly building a new routine, too slow for my liking. I like diving into painting or creating for hours and leaving the outside world behind. That is not possible at the moment, so I take the 10 min at a time when I can get them.

I did notice that since I have been practicing creating Mandalas I have shifted my way of how I respond to certain situations.

I am an Aries, so can be very hot headed. I have noticed that I approach things differently now.

I am happy I found Mandala Magic.

It has definitely had a positive impact on my way of being. It helped me concentrate on my inner world and helped me to start unraveling these walls that I have had up since childhood. They served me then, but now not anymore.

I learned that it is ok to sit with something and that I don’t need a resolution right now.

I have picked flowers and leaves from my garden the last few months and dried them, hoping I will find a way to incorporate them into some Mandalas at some point.

In my teenage years, I used to add tickets, and other little memorabilia to my journaling pages, at some point, I might start doing that again?

Who knows where this road will lead me, so many possibilities.

I love seeing the creations of other Mandala Magicians on social media and sharing my own work. I get feedback that helps me see things from a different point of view or even sparks a new creation.

It is a very safe and loving community.

I did notice that Mandalas have spilled over into my other creative outlets. Like covering up a stain or hole on a piece of clothing, I sometimes stitch a mandala.

I am thankful Julie helped me open the door again to my creative side.

48 Comments

  1. Lina Newstead

    I really likehow you incorporate the sewing such a female creative modality and your story is inspiring as it is a way to reveal things perhaps without so much pain and angnst?

    Reply
    • Frauke

      Thank you Lina. MANDALA Magic really helps me to dig to those areas that a buried so deep that some of them I didn’t even know where there, and release some of the tightness in my body. Still have ways to go.

      Reply
  2. Claire bischoff

    thank you for sharing your mandalas. It is a gift to be able to see them and read your story.

    Reply
    • Frauke

      Thank you Clair, I love seeing other people’s creations, often for my own inspiration.

      Reply
  3. Cathlyne P Talevich

    My dear, your work and insights are a healing gift. Thank you for the freedom of your sharing. <3

    Reply
    • Frauke

      Thank you very much Cathlyne 😊💜

      Reply
  4. INA SOLUM

    Magnificent

    I too loved the variety of styles and colors. Very motivating! Thank you!!!

    Reply
    • Frauke

      Happy to be your motivation,Ina.

      Reply
  5. Pam

    Thank you for sharing your impressions with us. It is helpful to hear how this exploration has unfolded, and what you have discovered in the process. The images you have shared are absolutely stunning.

    Reply
    • Frauke

      Thank you Pam, I often wander off with my art projects but keep coming back to the Mandala. It’s like coming home to a safe place.

      Reply
  6. Tammy keane

    Thank you for sharing such an amazing story! I really love your beautiful work and how you’ve incorporated into other work. Your embroidery is very fine work. Thank you for inspiring us, I also love cardinals!

    Reply
    • Frauke

      I have so much fun trying to incorporate mandalas into my daily life. Thanks for your compliments and I hope you have just as much fun creating.

      Reply
  7. Anna Maria stone

    Thank you for sharing g your interesting story. Your work is amazing!

    Reply
    • Frauke

      💜, my pleasure anna

      Reply
  8. yANNA ANAGNOSTOU

    Thank you for sharing! Your work is very inspiring. Keep circling 🙂

    Reply
    • Frauke

      I sure will. Thank you yAnna, happy circling as well.

      Reply
  9. Joanna Neill

    Frauke, your story was so moving to read. I am so sorry you went through what you did as a child and so glad you found julies work and have been able to rediscover your creativity and find yourself again. Your mandalas are beautiful.

    Reply
    • Frauke

      Thank you for reading my story Joanna. It wasn’t easy to work through but creating really helps to get in touch with my inner world.

      Reply
  10. Cathy van Nes

    Thank you for sharing your story. I love the way youare making your mandala’s
    They inspire me.

    Reply
    • Rhiannon

      Very inspiring thank you for sharing your story and your beautiful work

      Reply
      • Frauke

        Thank you for reading and enjoying it, Rhianna 💜

        Reply
    • Kazza

      Your mandala Creations are so beautiful Frauke. Gratitude for your words and honesty

      Reply
      • Frauke

        My pleasure, Kazza

        Reply
    • Frauke

      Thank you Cathy, happy to inspire.

      Reply
  11. Karen

    Thank you Frauke for sharing your thoughts and mandalas. what a journey you’ve been on, so good to see how mandalas have helped you.

    Reply
    • Frauke

      💜 thank you Karen

      Reply
  12. Jean Epp-Gauthier

    Thank you for sharing your mandala journey. i am saving a quote from your words that was meaningful to me.

    Reply
    • Frauke

      Thank you Jean, this just warmer my heart.

      Reply
  13. Donna Roche

    Thankyou Frauke for sharing so eloquently your story . I resonated deeply with some of the areas you discussed . It also highlighted the beauty of this work and how it gently helps you to remove layers that no longer serve us . I feel deeply honoured you felt able to share your words within this community it is testament to what Julie has enabled and we all have created by being together in this process. Excited for your continued unfolding Donna X

    Reply
    • Frauke Avent

      Thank you Donna

      Reply
  14. Kathy Steelandt

    I really enjoyed reading your story and looking at your beautiful creations. What a wonderful way to process your life events. Thank you for being vulnerable and wishing you trust with your journaling. I agree, the mandala community is a very safe one. Blessings to your Frauke

    Reply
    • Frauke Avent

      Thank you Kathy. I have made quite some steps in journaling the last few days.

      Reply
  15. Cielle

    Thank you Frauke for sharing these details of your life and how creativity has anD continues to be important and transformative for you. I love seeing your mandals.

    Reply
    • Frauke

      Thank you very much. It was my pleasure

      Reply
    • Frauke Avent

      Thank you Cielle, it means a lot to me.

      Reply
  16. Yvonne

    Thank you so much for sharing.

    Reply
    • Frauke

      Thank you for reading.

      Reply
    • Frauke Avent

      💜Yvonne, thanks a ton.

      Reply
      • Nicola Beatty

        Oh wow , thankyou for sharing your journey through creating mandalas Frauke🥰
        . Your mandalas are magnificent .
        Im so glad i am on this journey now also discovering what is holding me back from truly living my best life . Thankyou Julie Gibbons and Frauke 🥰🥰♥️🫶

        Reply
        • Frauke

          Yay, Nicola I am happy for you. May you live your best life!!!

          Reply
  17. Ms Edwina Evans

    Thank you, your story really resonates with me-a fellow Aries. Really like the idea of emptying stuff into a mandala. Like a brain dump. Mine is full of frustrating at the moment so going to give it a try.xx

    Reply
    • Frauke

      Yes, the dumping has helped me quite a bit.
      I hope your frustration lifts and you can dump other events.

      Reply
      • Beth Welch

        I’m belatedly reading this. Thank you for sharing how it’s been transformative for you. I too find it integrating into other areas. I love seeing your work, and value making this “journey ” alongside you.

        Reply
        • Fra

          Thank you for being on this journey with me

          Reply
  18. Penny Lamnek

    Thank you for sharing Frauke. It takes courage. All my best for your continued journey

    Reply
    • Frauke

      Thank you very much, Penny.

      Reply
  19. Wynona

    I love the range and variety – from exact and geometric to free flowing creatively to going into the totally different medium of embroidery – an inspiration!

    Reply
    • Frauke

      I love dipping my toes in all kind of media. Some just keep calling me back or have a tighter grip on me.

      Reply

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